Haiku Hell
by mew-tsubaki
Summary: Just a short tidbit for the "Mister Scary Face" series. One day, our beloved Kanda relaxes with some other kind of meditation. But his mind can't get off Miranda! Where's Andi-chan when he needs her...? Darker than I expected, but good. R&R, of course!


**Haiku Hell**

A -Man fanfic

By mew-tsubaki

Note: Obviously these characters belong to Hoshino Katsura-sensei, though I love them dearly. This is part of the "Mister Scary Face" series, but this is also fairly stand-alone. This is my _fourth_ D. Gray Man fic, mainly 'cause you guys want more YukaxAndi from me. Um, I didn't list it as poetry, but there are quite a few haiku in here that Kanda and I slaved over, so be generous and leave a review, otherwise all those damn haiku were for nothing!! See you at the end of the story! :D

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Kanda Yu had it good for once.

Now, I'll give you a moment to let that statement sink in. After all, who would ever think to put _Kanda's_ name in that sentence? He's one of the angriest and most pessimistic characters one could encounter. But I love him as much as Miranda Lotto and the rest of you do, so it's only logical to give him a piece of happiness.

But I can't do that in today's fanfiction. ***evilly cackles*** So let's get on with it, shall we?

Yes, _that_ Kanda Yu had it good for once. He was one of the top Exorcists of the European Branch of the Black Order. He was a master swordsman. He had good looks, …_okay_ comrades, and he had a girlfriend.

Before you scream/cry/ask what the hell is wrong with the author here for taking him off the market, allow me to present you with a little timeline (and a bit of a spoiler for volume 14, so read at your own discretion): About a year ago, there was a major battle. The best of the best of the Exorcists fought against almost half of the Noah. The best of the best barely made it out alive.

On the bright side, several generals had been found and rounded up. Also on the bright side, the battle had been won in our heroes' favor, and the Ark had been secured. Now is where we cut out the last few pages of volume 14 and add in the mew-tsubaki part of the storyline.

Miranda Lotto went to formally introduce herself to Kanda. That hadn't worked out so well. But after almost a month and a half, the woman had come to like Kanda and, after a battle between the two (yes, you read that right), Kanda had been forced to become "Yuka" and he had to finally open himself up to someone –her.

Well, Kanda kinda liked her, too –not that he would've admitted it at that point. So after about six months of growing closer, he'd been thrown into a scary situation where he'd almost lost her. In fact, he'd sliced off the Millennium Earl's left arm for trying to kill her. It was then that he knew how deeply he cared for Miranda Lotto.

Currently, Kanda meditated on this history. Yes, he cared for someone other than himself. And almost a month ago after the three and a half months from the time he'd saved her, when he'd tried giving her up for both their sakes', they'd ended up consummating those feelings –which he knew were love, but he would never admit that either. So here we stand.

Kanda and Miranda had been close for more than a year. Technically, they'd been interested in each other for most of that year. And he'd only admit to himself that he'd been in love with her for almost half of that year.

So of course he was bugged by all of this. He wasn't _supposed_ to have it this good. He was Kanda.

_Oh, well,_ he thought with his trademark grimace. He shifted his legs and got up to dig through the bureau. He didn't know if Miranda would join him today. The last time they'd gone on a mission, he'd kept an eye on her fighting style. Andi-chan _could_ fight, but she definitely needed work. He'd spoken with Noise Marie from his unit, and they'd come up with a training regiment for Andi-chan.

She'd started a week ago and seemed to be doing okay, but Marie had spoken with Kanda. Miranda had a _long _way to go. Kanda frowned, but –other than training her vigorously –there wasn't much to do. She hadn't been trained from a young age, like Lenalee had. She hadn't the talent that Lavi Bookman and the Bean Sprout possessed from the pure adrenaline and circumstances. And she hadn't been made like himself…

Yuka pushed those dark thoughts from his past to the back of his mind. He'd done well to not think of those things for a long time. He could continue to do so, until –He caught himself again.

_Think of something better to do, you numbskull,_ Kanda scolded himself.

He kept fishing through his belongings in the drawer until he drew out some fine parchment and found a bottle of black India ink. For once, a good memory turned up, and Kanda pulled out several bamboo brushes without the usual grimace or even a frown on his face.

Though an excellent fighter, Kanda'd also been very skilled in calligraphy once. But he hadn't tried it in so long… He decided _What the heck?_ and set things up. He also dug out the ink block and grindstone, and ground some fresh ink to use.

After spreading out his tools and the paper, Kanda practiced a few kanji here-and-there. There were the typical easy words: water (mizu), fire (hi), earth (tsuchi), wood (ki), wind (kaze), flower (hana), fight (tatakae), blade (katana), sea (umi), sky (sora), man (otoko), woman (onna), smile (egao), kind (yasashii), beautiful (kirei), etc.

He paused. Those last four showed where his brain was going, obviously.

Kanda shook himself and took some steady breaths. _I must clear my soul with this art, just as I clear my head with my meditation, _he thought. _A few haiku should take care of that._

His brush dangled over the paper, hand poised to write. An ink blot dropped onto the paper. Then he started writing:

_Flower in the fall,_

_Hiding the bark in petals,_

_One is watching me._

A quirked eyebrow graced his features. Hmmm. Not really what he'd expected. Then again, haiku were kind of spur-of-the-moment things. And poetry altogether was a peculiar, mysterious craft that had a mind of its own. He dipped the bristles and wrote another.

_Sweet taste coats my sense._

_Good things come to those who wait,_

_And to those who take._

Okay, _that _one was even stranger than the last. But on he went.

_Black ribbon, dark eyes-_

_The eyes have it all, don't they?_

_Those eyes behold me._

_…_ Kanda didn't stop to dwell on them as they got stranger and stranger (or is it, 'curiouser and curiouser'? Kandas to the person who guesses were that reference comes from).

_Cream of softness skin,_

_The curls fall from the ribbon._

_The tigress is starved._

_Any other beast,_

_She is only the tiger._

_But she's my tiger._

_The petals return._

_They hover closer to me._

_They are delicious._

_A warrior breaks._

_Too tense is the fear he feels._

_She has come too close._

Kanda squinted at the drivel that was pouring onto his page. Was it just him, or were these haiku starting to sound Miranda-related?

_Sweat and blood combine._

_The end result is daunting._

_She will not be lost._

_Flowing like air free,_

_A trust is binding to them._

_They're forever linked._

_The time will run out._

_The lotus petals taunt me._

_She will have to know._

He stopped there and stood up, backing away from the page. Creativity was turning on him as things were taking a really dark turn. With his arms crossed in front of his bare chest, he watched the sunset bleed across the horizon. Once it had sunken, he decided to return to the parchment. He hesitated before picking the horse-hair brush back up and continuing.

_Let it end later._

_What does the truth show but pain?_

_The sun takes all hope._

_ -with it,_ Kanda finished in his mind.

_The kiss is tempting._

_A look can steal her breath –good._

_The tigress is mine._

_The hunter is hunted._

_Had he had it all wrong, yes?_

_But he likes it switched._

_The ice has melted._

_Her heat has more than one source._

_Inside and outside._

Okay, now he couldn't help it. Everything _was_ related to her. It was Andi-chan-centric!!! He paused. How much more of this could he do? Would _anything_ he wrote not be about his Andi-chan??!!!

The ink dripped onto the paper again. …this was going to be harder than he thought. And he'd already done fourteen of these things.

_My mind's just a little cluttered right now,_ he reasoned. _Writing more should help._

_A cat's graces fool._

_They move lithely in the dark._

_She is the same way._

_The temperature-_

_It rises, but time freezes._

_She holds what's precious._

_Liquid black night came._

_It swallowed the wild beast up._

_I succumbed to her._

_Petals again haunt._

_These ones are hers to part with._

_I cannot breathe now._

_Lashes tease my skin._

_I let my fingertips dance._

_Sky bends to my will._

Kanda flung his calligraphy brush across the room, leaving a huge black streak on the wall. He very nearly pulled his hair out. EVERYTHING HE WROTE ABOUT WAS ABOUT MIRANDA!!!! AND HE COULDN'T STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just then, Miranda stopped by after training all day. She furrowed her brow, wondering what would make her Yuka look like he was dying. He was so caught up in his agony that he didn't hear her come in and walk over to him. She lightly placed her hands on his bare shoulders and pecked the top of his head. Immediately, he froze and grew warm under her touch. The brunette smiled and peeked at Yuka. Yep, her job was done, so she tiptoed out as quietly as she had come in.

Our Yuka pursed his lips and took a few silent breaths.

_Morning rays alight._

_Fuji-san reigns this domain._

_Hark, the dawn appears._

He smirked at the paper. He knew he just needed some time to think. And he'd finally produced something great. Twentieth time's the charm.

…

Yuka hastily hid the rest. _Back to regular meditation, I go._

* * *

**Okay, so it was humorous in some parts, but this actually turned out a lot darker than I meant it to. Also, I'm doing my best not to give away parts of the original story that we haven't seen yet from Viz here in America, but it's getting hard. One thing I **_**can**_** promise is that the next fic, "Let's Learn Japanese!", **_**is**_** going to be very funny. This one, I didn't have much of a frame for, but the next one is pretty much all set up. Also, I apologize in advance if my Japanese is rather crappy. Years of anime beats some things into your head, so I'm not completely incapable of handling it, though.**

**So review and be on the look out for the next story, peoples!!!**

**-mew-tsubaki :D**

**P.S.-How'd you like that Yuka's too stubborn to admit that Andi-chan's kiss was the thing that finally got the creative juices flowing? … …ooh, that could be interpreted sooo badly. Sorry!! .;**


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